Monday, March 02, 2009

"Hearts are made to be broken" - Oscar Wilde


It is true that a life without love is incomplete. But life with love is intricate. Is our young generation mature enough to handle them? This is not something philosophical. We see walking case studies everywhere!

The love 'spark' is enchanting. But when it is given life and turned to 'flame' (before taking a relationship), there are quite a lot of affairs that need to be managed. Otherwise, there is a good possibility of the flame taking the shape of huge fire anguishing both sides.

People start moving into a relationship blinded by the attention they get from the other end at that time. The GenX nowadays find it difficult to answer why they are really getting into some relationship. The clarity of relationship has been totally lost. Maybe, I would allege the media (mainly books & movies) for improper guidance of youth in love. In movie, the hero and heroine get hooked up thru various means - mobile, internet etc. The hero battles hundreds of villains to save and succeed in love. In the end, love triumphs. The fantasies always have happy endings, but back in reality, is it the same?

There are innumerable problems in love between lovers, leave alone the external forces (like family oppositions). One main reason which I would like to quote is the higher expectation in love since the partner in the other end is 'the chosen one'. This leads to immense disappointment with feeling of being rejected and unloved. This expectation, which once seemed as part of love, turns unreasonable as time goes on. The next is possesiveness of the duo which necessitates reassurance from each other everytime. The trust and secured feeling is then lost gradually. One other significant reason is the sudden realization of the family related issues. In cases of many, the realization takes time as people are totally blindfolded in love and amorousness. This stage, I mean, is even before either of the family comes to know the secretive relationship. It then is high time the pair starts getting concerned about religion, cast, creed, color, status, culture, traditions, lifestyle... I believe there is no end for this list, unless both the families are unorthodox, which, in most cases, are negative.

Once things turn difficult, they feel insecure of letting go of the relationship. There is a mixture of guilt and skewed sense of duty as a commitment that is made. This dilemma leads to mini break-ups before final good bye. When one wants to breakup yet keeps going back, it is usually more a case of habit and dependency than love and mutual respect, which is definitely not healthy.

Fine. Does that mean sudden breakups are welcome? Nope. The one who starts it feels stronger (relatively) than the one who receives the 'goodbye'. This would lead to the person in the receiving end to inundate the other with calls and messages to express, convince, evince his/her feelings, resulting in complete detestation of each other.

So, what is the solution to this? Trust me, I really do not know. But what I understand is 'If you fall in love, succeed. If you fail.. you better not fail.' :-)

You expect this to end here? Definitely not. Another question creeps up. "Should I keep in touch with him/her or not?". Some people think 'love after friendship is fine but not the other way'. I am not trying to make any point here. But would like to strongly insist on one thing - falling in love? think if you can take it long. Dont be taken by the strange temptation. If you are really positive about your success in love, ONLY then go for it.

Infact, there are some relationships that find a fairy-tale ending as shown in woods (hollywood, bollywood, kollywood, sandalwood etc.) Kudos to those who succeed in such relationships!